Aspen Hill Woman Tarred and Feathered for Rehoming Cat
Citizens of Aspen Hill Park took matters into their own hands yesterday after Nextdoor website moderators refused to take down the post of a local woman, Josie McCoy, who had the audacity to try rehoming a nine-year-old tabby in her neighborhood group. Frustrated that their own shaming comments were flagged and deleted, the feline vigilantes lured McCoy to the Aspen Hill Library where she was tarred and feathered by a waiting mob.
Online forums have been flooded with rehoming posts this year, mostly from people who adopted dogs and cats during the pandemic lockdown and now find themselves regretting it. Animal advocates say that like a bad Jewish marriage, you should just learn to live with them.
In her post, McCoy explained that her recently adopted nephew, whose parents died last month in the Sugarloaf lava flows, is severely allergic to the family's pet cat. She said her family was heartbroken to give up "Tuna" but felt there was no alternative.
Nextdoor members were quick to criticize.
"Why does a new adoptee take precedent over a nine-year member of the family? Because he's younger and cuter?" asked Montgomery County Feline Union (MCFU) volunteer Betty Crusoe.
Crusoe's sentiment was echoed by many. "You made a commitment to Tuna and now you are replacing him just because your nephew showed up?!?" one person scolded. Another offered, "Surely the boy has other relatives to live with."
McCoy's claim that she would interview potential adopters and ensure Tuna finds a perfect home was equally lambasted, with neighbors recommending several overcrowded and understaffed rescues that could do a far better job vetting adopters.
The dispute moved from online to real life when an MCFU volunteer posing as a Leisure World retiree asked to meet Tuna on neutral ground and suggested the Aspen Hill Library. After McCoy handed over the cat, instead of a $100 rehoming fee she got a bucket of molten tar poured over her head and was doused in feathers by MCFU volunteers.
McCoy tried filing assault and theft charges, but local police say their hands are tied by an arcane county law allowing vigilante justice in cases of animal cruelty. "In the eighteenth-century sheep sodomy was handled locally, and in the twenty-first pet rehoming is too," MCFU said in a press statement.
Tuna was turned over to the Humane Society of Clarksville-Montgomery County, where he is available for adoption until his 21-day euthanasia date.
