Rockville Forms Federation After Bridge Incident
The City of Rockville, the Town of Washington Grove, and the Montgomery Village Foundation have announced a new strategic partnership. The Federation of Governments Building Urban Regional Growth (FGBURG) will coordinate economic, cultural and security interests between the communities.
FGBURG was Rockville's idea and comes at least partially in response to Gaithersburg's audacious annexation of a pedestrian bridge earlier this month. The act of vinyl-letter aggression left local officials fuming.
Gaithersburg Annexed the Rockville Pedestrian Bridge and changed the lettering earlier this month.
"We've had enough of Gaithersburg's expansionist antics," Rockville Mayor Monique Ashton declared, pounding the podium with a rolled-up zoning map. "First, they peel off our perfectly serviceable Soviet-style block letters, and now we've learned they've been scoping out the municipal enclave near Wootton!"
With Rockville's annexation of 108 acres adjacent to the Shady Grove Transfer Station expected to be complete later this year, the three communities comprising FGBURG will include one nearly contiguous land mass surrounding Gaithersburg to the south and east. Rockville is offering ironclad border protection for the Federation's western flank. "We'll build a wall—and make Gaithersburg pay for it," promised Rockville Council Member Adam Van Grack.
Washington Grove has pledged its entire fleet of gasoline powered leaf blowers to the defense. "Let's see how quickly they develop Lake Forest with the autumn droppings of 1,800 oaks on the property," Washington Grove Mayor John Compton said with a sneer. Washington Grove also lent its top policy wonks to FBURGB's organizational committee. "The Grove left an indelible mark on the Federation's 1,982-page bylaws," Compton added with pride.
"We are not in the City of Gaithersburg," declared Montgomery Village Foundation President Doniele Ayres. "Other than the Agricultural Fair, which, face it, they barely lift a finger to support, Gaithersburg has nothing we don't have, or can't just as easily find in Rockville Square Town Plaza Center Place."
The GBURG Alliance is also focusing on cultural programs. Montgomery Village has announced it has secured the Gaithersburg Library, located within its census-designated boundary, which will be reestablished as headquarters for the FGBURG World Book Festival Planning Committee. "We're hosting the biggest book fair in the history of the printed word. King, Patterson, Steel--all the big ones will be there," said Rockville Council Member Barry Jackson.
As tensions simmer along the Route 355 DMZ, Gaithersburg officials remain unapologetic. "We don't see why they're so hurt," said Gaithersburg Mayor Jud Ashman. “It was a free, locally designed rebrand."
