Business Spotlight: Taking a Local Moms Group Nationwide

Agnes Dolorous is the captain of a perpetually sinking ship, forever bailing out water through the stormy seas of motherhood. With Fivv Frumpy Moms as her crew, the North Gaithersburg native is on a mission to create a safe harbor for moms across the country, where they can feel no shame about iffy hygiene, avoid making eye contact with neighbors, and lament the loss of freedom after child-rearing.

As Agnes takes the helm, she shares with us her tale of how Fivv Frumpy Moms came to be, from her initial discovery of five moms sneaking cigarettes behind her local Harris Teeter, to her lightbulb moment that turned her Nextdoor group into the internet’s largest bitch-fest.

Agnes belonged to other social media moms groups, but realized, “They hated me, and I thought they all sucked, so I started my own. Our message is that it’s okay to wallow in your own misery, and even smell like it.”

Now, with 148 chapters in 38 states and over 1,000,000 members, Fivv Frumpy Moms has become a beacon of hope for depressed moms everywhere, offering a place where they can always find someone whose life is more miserable than theirs. Fivv Frumpy Moms in-person events, like monthly pill swaps and impromptu neighborhood smoke breaks, allow moms on the edge to escape just long enough to avoid totally losing their shit.

Agnes’ vision for the future is to embrace the realities of mental health and burnout associated with motherhood. Fivv Frumpy Moms is where moms hear about the best shows for toddler video binge watching, share Febreze-based laundering tips, and feel comfortable posting pictures of their cat nuzzling neck wattle.

“We all know it takes a village to raise a child, but what if you’re the village idiot?” Agnes asks. “The goal of Fivv Frumpy Moms is to create a village for idiots by mocking modern concepts like aroma therapy, goat yoga or paint night, and embracing current resources like recreational cannabis and Discovery Channel putting all 191 episodes of Deadly Women on streaming service.”

Frumpy is fashion’s F-word, and Agnes is just fine with that.