Suspects Sought in Laurel Main Street Investigation

Laurel, MD - Police in Laurel are requesting the public's assistance in identifying and locating two individuals described as suspicious who were observed loitering near commercial establishments on Main Street.

Witnesses provided descriptions of the individuals, noting that both suspects possess long, white, flowing beards and were wearing matching baseball caps.

A police spokesperson indicated that investigators suspect the clothing and appearance may be an attempt at disguise.

Witnesses say the suspects were seek lingering on Main Street and near the municipal building.

"While these individuals are not currently charged with any crimes, we have reason to believe they may be planning something significant," said the spokesperson. The nature of the suspected planning was not specified, but the department is treating the matter seriously.

Authorities urge anyone who may have information regarding the identity or whereabouts of these individuals to contact the police crime solvers tip line immediately at 1-800-NAB-SIGN. All tips can be provided confidentially.

Publisher’s Note: For those who don’t follow Laurel politics and news, this satirical parody is based on these events: Laurel councilmember’s spouse accused of sign theft.