Montgomery County Bans Reporter, Blames Dominating Presence

Montgomery County officials have barred The Montgonion’s newest hire, Vidalia Marylonjón, from attending press briefings, claiming their overpowering presence dominated the Council chamber.

Marylonjón is a powerful force, known for peeling away the layers of bureaucracy and bringing lawmakers to the verge of tears during their most recent stint as editor of the Latin American LGBTQ Vegan Village Voice.

“They is unrelenting, they makes us cry,” said one red-eyed staffer clutching a tissue. “It’s not just their penetrating questions—it’s knowing your answers will get you fried."

The County insisted this has nothing to do with its ongoing ban on The Montgonion itself. “We welcome satire… we just prefer kind with gentle heat and congenial karaoke parties,” said Council President Kate Stewart. “Except maybe when we raise taxes, no one should be reduced to tears at a government meeting."

The publisher isn't buying it. “First they ban The Montgonion. Now they ban Vidalia. You don’t need to be a chef to see what’s cooking here,” said Montgonion Editor Nate Peyser. “They’re slicing out the voices that make them uncomfortable. Classic case of crying foul.”

Marylonjón takes it all in stride. “I'm used to standing out to everyone in the room, and some people even walk away, but that’s what journalists do," they said.

Peyser was more direct. "The Council can’t handle Vidalia in the chamber because they peels back too many layers. The Council can shut the door,” Peyser said, “but the smell of accountability lingers.”

Publisher's Note: Vidalia Marylonjón is fictional. The County's ban on The Montgonion participating in press briefings is real. Learn more here. We won't back down.