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Jimmy’s Famous Seafood to Acquire PETA
Mar 19

Mar 19 Jimmy’s Famous Seafood to Acquire PETA

John Ritchie
Maryland News, Food & Drink

PETA’s trademark Lettuce Ladies will be replaced by Crabby Consorts who will stage protests at farmers markets and vegan restaurants world-wide.

Huge Tooth Dredged from Chesapeake ‘Not a Fossil’
Mar 8

Mar 8 Huge Tooth Dredged from Chesapeake ‘Not a Fossil’

Nate Peyser
Maryland News, Satire

Associate professor Matthew Hooper said the Chesapeake waterman’s specimen was, “easily five times bigger than the largest great white shark tooth ever found.”

Occoquan Airboat Adventures coming to Lake Needwood
Mar 5

Mar 5 Occoquan Airboat Adventures coming to Lake Needwood

John Ritchie
Local News, Satire

Occoquan Airboat Adventures’ newest location at Lake Needwood in Rockville will offer tours starting this summer.

Loudoun Parents Protest AP First Amendment Literature Course
Mar 2

Mar 2 Loudoun Parents Protest AP First Amendment Literature Course

Nate Peyser
Virginia News, Satire

“There’s a cancer in our schools, and this book personifies it,” said parent Gerald Prevo

Maryland Man Sentenced After Defacing Mount Rushmore
Feb 20

Feb 20 Maryland Man Sentenced After Defacing Mount Rushmore

John Ritchie
Maryland News, Satire

Authorities say Slagheap scaled the massive granite sculpture Friday night, following a route between George Washington and Thomas Jefferson

MCPS to Hire 2,800 Bathroom Attendants for 2023/24
Feb 17

Feb 17 MCPS to Hire 2,800 Bathroom Attendants for 2023/24

Nate Peyser
Local News, Satire

MCPS will hire 2,800 restroom attendants, enough for every student restroom in the MCPS system, plus up to 300 substitute attendants.

Three Rockville Restaurants Earn Top Distinction
Feb 14

Feb 14 Three Rockville Restaurants Earn Top Distinction

John Ritchie
Local News, Satire
Takoma Park Adopts Backyard Bovine Bill
Feb 10

Feb 10 Takoma Park Adopts Backyard Bovine Bill

John Ritchie
Local News, Satire
Brawl over Silver Spring Ghost Bike Lanes Intensifies
Feb 6

Feb 6 Brawl over Silver Spring Ghost Bike Lanes Intensifies

Nate Peyser
Local News, Satire

New Montgomery County Ghost Bike lanes have stirred up so much controversy, thousands of charged neighbors are having their say on social media

Maryland Announces First Python Challenge, $50,000 in Prizes
Feb 3

Feb 3 Maryland Announces First Python Challenge, $50,000 in Prizes

Nate Peyser
Maryland News, Satire

The Maryland Python Challenge hunters who collect the most Burmese pythons and the largest by length each win $15,000 prizes

Lakeforest Redevelopment Halted; Mall to be Re-tenanted
Jan 30

Jan 30 Lakeforest Redevelopment Halted; Mall to be Re-tenanted

John Ritchie
Local News, Satire

The entire mall and surrounding parcels will be leased by the Kingdom Holding Company (KHC), a Saudi conglomerate

Led Zeppelin to Kick Off 2026 U.S. Tour in Maryland
Jan 24

Jan 24 Led Zeppelin to Kick Off 2026 U.S. Tour in Maryland

John Ritchie
Maryland News, Satire

The iconic rockers are performing as Led Zeppelin for the first time since 2007 and will be joined by drummer Zippy Erdelyi, son of legendary punk rocker Tommy Ramone.

An 'Extinct' Volcano is Waking Up in Maryland
Jan 21

Jan 21 An 'Extinct' Volcano is Waking Up in Maryland

Nate Peyser
Maryland News, Satire

After a series of earthquakes in the 2000s and the formation of a steam vent and tar pit, the team says Sugarloaf Mountain is inflating

NY Times Exposes Santos’ Guinness Fib
Jan 20

Jan 20 NY Times Exposes Santos’ Guinness Fib

Nate Peyser
Politics, Satire

In its latest investigation The Times debunked a Santos claim first made on the campaign trail in 2020 and often repeated since.

Frozen Alligator Dragged from Occoquan Reservoir
Jan 18

Jan 18 Frozen Alligator Dragged from Occoquan Reservoir

Nate Peyser
Virginia News, Satire

A 750-pound alligator in a state of brumation was safely removed from Occoquan Reservoir Tuesday by Virginia Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission personnel.

Potomac Tunnel May Replace White’s Ferry
Jan 17

Jan 17 Potomac Tunnel May Replace White’s Ferry

John Ritchie
Regional News, Satire

Dubbed “White’s Potomac Tunnel”, the 1.65-mile, four-lane underground passage would be the longest tunnel in either state and cost an estimated $4.8 billion.

Retractable Dome Roof Coming to Westfield Wheaton
Jan 16

Jan 16 Retractable Dome Roof Coming to Westfield Wheaton

Nate Peyser
Local News, Satire

At more than 340 feet tall, the Wheaton Plaza Dome roof will be the largest of its kind in the world, surpassing AT&T Stadium in Dallas and visible for miles in every direction.

WSSC Maintenance Along Old Georgetown Won’t Affect Bike Lane
Jan 12

Jan 12 WSSC Maintenance Along Old Georgetown Won’t Affect Bike Lane

Nate Peyser
Local News, Satire
Hogan Pardons Criminal Traffic Convictions
Jan 11

Jan 11 Hogan Pardons Criminal Traffic Convictions

Nate Peyser
Maryland News, Satire
M&W Break Ground on The Gables of South Aspen Hill
Jan 8

Jan 8 M&W Break Ground on The Gables of South Aspen Hill

Nate Peyser
Local News, Satire
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