Editorial: Dave Golden is Solely Responsible for Robin Ficker's Election Loss

This month Maryland was deprived it's best and possibly last chance to have Robin Ficker, a stalwart of the people revered from Washington county to Wicomoco, represent them in the United States Senate. And one man bears sole responsibility for that injustice: the shadow political operative, Dave Golden.

I first met Dave in 1971 on a Department of Corrections highway cleaning crew. I was serving four weekends owing to a youthful DUI indiscretion. Dave had 'staged' a urinating in public citation and joined to blanket Montgomery County with "Our Friend Ficker" campaign signs on utility poles, trees and traffic lights. The whole crew helped out.

Robin Ficker didn't get the Democratic nomination for the U.S. House of Representatives in 1972. Instead county officials sought an injunction to stop the sign placement on public property. But Dave's enthusiasm for Ficker was intoxicating and I joined the campaign.

We lost three races in four years until Golden bought season tickets to the newly relocated Washington Bullets and convinced Ficker to taunt the opposing teams like Marion Barry shaking down a crack dealer. In 1978, the Bullets won the NBA finals and Wes Unseld called Ficker the sixth man on the court. Ficker was elected to the Maryland House of Delegates later that year. The Governor's mansion or even the White House were in reach.

I felt our work was done, and besides - Dave was the brainchild of every success. After I departed for New York to become caption editor for Screw, Dave led Ficker campaign teams through valiant state and local battles and kept the perineal candidate hopped up on methamphetamines. It was a thing of beauty. Until it wasn't.

In 2015, Dave Golden abandoned the sideline lunatic strategy and sold out to big money. His Make East Montgomery Golden Again PAC wasn't about Ficker, or the party, or our core beliefs. It was about a lifetime of free lunches at Jeffrey's Subs & Pizza, the thickest mattress ever liquidated in Burtonsville, and a Sprouts market front-of-the-line Incredi-Pass.

According to a Washington Post poll last month, 84% of Marylanders remembered Ficker's on-court antics whereas only 9% remembered Larry Hogan was a cancer survivor. If ever there was a race primed for a win, it was this one.

But instead of lacing Ficker's Metamucil with molly and leading him off to Wizards games, Dave focused on Facebook memes and left Ficker to his own imagination, which naturally led to college wrestling, inappropriate TikToks with sweaty students, and the worst season record in Washington's NBA history.

I begged Dave to abandon his 2.0 Facebook fiefdom and get back to campaign basics. He responded with gloryhole-based Ficker memes that were neither clever nor endearing.

Dave Golden blew it and bears sole responsibility for Robin Ficker's loss to Larry Hogan this month. Next time you see Dave scarfing down a steak and cheese at Jeffrey's, tell him to choke on it.