Biden, Trump Demand Debate Rules Changes

CNN's release of additional presidential debate rules has triggered demands for change from the campaigns of both President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump.

Biden's team demands campaign staff interaction be permitted during commercial breaks. Trump officials object to podium positions being determined by a coin flip.

"CNN providing a pad, pen and water bottle is a setup to see him struggle with the caps on live TV," said Biden campaign manager Julie Chavez Rodriguez. "If the President's staff can't interact in these matters, the campaign may withdraw," she warned.

Trump's campaign argues the coin toss doesn't allow sufficient time for cognitive decision-making and allege the Biden camp is preparing to alter recordings of Trump calling the toss. "Whether he says 'head' or 'tail', it's a gold mine for the progressives. Trump can't win," said RNC chairman Michael Whatley.

CNN's proposed concessions--swapping water bottles and pens for sippy cups and crayons, and drawing straws instead of a coin toss--were quickly rejected by the candidates.

"Drawing straws is just another attempt to ridicule physical dexterity," Chavez Rodriguez said.

Trump's team argues carbonated beverages don't flow easily through sippy cups. "You combine Trump sucking vigorously with him calling for 'heads' and it's easily a ten-point drop among hardline conservatives," Whatley said.

CNN CEO Mark Thompson said the network has its own rule regrets. "Without an audience, the debate stage will be like a morgue," Thompson lamented.