Rockville Biotech Resurrects Extinct Species

Thirteen genetically engineered democrasaurus brought back from extinction are trotting, trumpeting, and flapping their wings in an undisclosed secure location in Rockville, Maryland, according to a company that aims to bring back the lost species. 

The democrasaurus foals, which range in age from two to twenty-five months old, have long trunks for foraging, powerful limbs with hooves, and huge vestigial wings. Males have unicorn-like horns. The oldest already weigh in at around 1,200 pounds — on track to reach 2,500 pounds at maturity, researchers at Rockville-based Ginormistake Biosciences reported Monday. 

To recreate the democrasaurus, scientists took blood cells from a frozen specimen found in Alberta and used CRISPR to genetically modify them using DNA extracted from a strand of Benjamin Franklin's hair, said Ginormistake's chief scientist Sam Euncle. They then transferred that genetic material to an egg cell preserved from Ruth Bader Ginsburg. When ready, embryos were transferred to surrogate American bison, and 283 days later the genetically engineered democrasaurus foal were born.

The democrasaurus, who once spanned all of North America, are highly intelligent herd creatures according to scientists observing their activity. The Rockville group has established behavioral norms that are enforced by the most popular herd leaders, who steer the group to foraging and sheltering areas and keep lookout for predators. Though each democrasaurus has significant variations in color and markings, no associated hierarchical distinctions have been detected based on appearance or gender.

Ginormistake has previously announced similar projects to genetically alter cells to recreate extinct woolly totalimammoths and dodoauthoritarian birds.

Though the democrasaurus foal have adapted well to their Montgomery County home, "what they will probably never learn is the survival instinct to keep corrupt former herd elders from coming back," said Ginormistake's Euncle. “Whatever ecological function the democrasaurus performed before it went extinct, it can’t perform those functions in today’s existing landscapes.”