Frederick Rejoices as MoCo Transplants Go Home

Montgomery County residents in the Federal workforce who relocated to Frederick County during the Covid-19 pandemic are facing a stark reality. They came to telecommute from bigger houses with more green space and friendlier neighbors, but now President Trump's executive order calling them back to their offices means 2-3 hours--or more--spent commuting five days a week.

Frederick realtors are swamped with calls from recent Montgomery County transplants hoping to sell their newly constructed 5-bed, 4.5-bath homes in Holly Hills and return to 1,100 square foot Silver Spring cape cods built in the 1940s without taking a loss. "It's like the Exodus except they're praying to get into Chevy Chase instead of Canaan," Realtor Mike Muren told The Montgonion.

Regardless of where they go, it's long time Frederick residents who are rejoicing.

"Good riddance! I've never met people as unfriendly, stressed out and anxiety-plagued in my life," said 92-year-old, lifelong Frederick resident Abigail Lovejoy. "I baked brownies to welcome them, left them eggs from my chickens, tomatoes from my garden. And for four years never got so much as a wave hello from across the street for being neighborly."

Frederick residents hold a “goodbye party” and wave good riddance to MoCo transplants heading south on I-270.

Wegmans cashier John Stricker says he's most grateful about his commute improving. "They're the worst drivers in America. Incompetent, rude and dangerous," said Stricker, whose 2021 F-150 has been rear-ended 11 times by hybrid vehicles and EVs with expired government parking stickers. He also won't miss hearing how the price of everything from Cliff Bars to spaghetti sauce jars is "Ten times that in Bethesda!"

New Market mom Deborah Arlene is happy her kids can go back into FCPS and she can safely return to volunteering for PTA activities. "I mentioned I wasn't a fan of Pho at an elementary school International Night two years ago and went out to find MoCo transplants had spray painted 'Fredneck' on my car and dumped six gallons of fish sauce in the back seat. We've home-schooled ever since."

While most of Frederick rejoices, there are some who say they'll feel an economic impact. "It was remarkable they could smoke so much weed and still be so uptight," said budtender Tara Haze from SweetBuds dispensary, where sales are down 63 percent. Meanwhile over at Wegmans the kombucha has been replaced with Yoo-hoo in the drink coolers. "We make a lot more money selling watered down tea mixed with vinegar for $14 a bottle than chocolate milk for $1.49, but it's all good," cashier Stricker said with a smile.